What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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