Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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Netball.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Womens Basketball.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops