Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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