Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Knock knock, come in.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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9/11

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops