Hi my name is Bob

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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i have cancer

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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