roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

Hey, you have small hands.

Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...