why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

Knock knock, come in.

my names jim haha

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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