Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A black guy gets arrested...

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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i have cancer

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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Politics.

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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