whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down -99

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

thumb_up thumb_down +66

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happens when you wake up inception

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops