You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

Where did John go? Refrigerator

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

Hey, you have small hands.

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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