what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

pussy enough said

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey, you have small hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

thumb_up thumb_down

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops