A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down +2

And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -58

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -108

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +117

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Itookasipasoda

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops