What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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your mom

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Netball.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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