Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

thumb_up thumb_down

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

thumb_up thumb_down -12

my names jim haha

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

thumb_up thumb_down -20

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops