Knock knock, come in.

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Have you seen Stevie wonder's new mansion? No..... Either has he

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What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

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How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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