3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

What didn't last long? You in the bed

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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