Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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Politics.

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Lacrosse is the best sport in the world

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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