Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

What didn't last long? You in the bed

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

Jews who wear penny loafers...

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

George W. Bush

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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