Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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my names jim haha

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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