What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hi Adam,

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

thumb_up thumb_down -75

All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +118

What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Rebecca Black's new album.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

pussy enough said

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops