I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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hi im paul!

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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my names jim haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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