Roses are red Violets are blue

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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Politics.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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