Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

I'm funny.

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

pussy enough said

w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

Whats a cat? A cat!

Hey, you have small hands.

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

Yo Mamma

So a baby seal walks into a club.

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

Nice legs....What time do they open?

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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