Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I am the sun. You are the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

thumb_up thumb_down -68

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +119

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Animal

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Magic Johnson has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +29

clamidia

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops