How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

thumb_up thumb_down

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -16

my names jim haha

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Politics.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +51

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops