What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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girls basketball

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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