Nice legs....What time do they open?

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Why did the baby die? It got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

thumb_up thumb_down +38

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black person in the NHL

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops