William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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black

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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I'm funny.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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