How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -8

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black pilot? a pilot you racist bastard...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hi Adam,

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops