What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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