Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

my names jim haha

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

thumb_up thumb_down -131

( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

thumb_up thumb_down +132

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

thumb_up thumb_down +48

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Animal

thumb_up thumb_down +38

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I'm funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +18

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

pussy enough said

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops