Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Animal

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops