A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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