what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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I have read and agree to terms of service.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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My nipple is bleeding

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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