What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Asian NASCAR.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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