clamidia

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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11111

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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your mom

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops