Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

i have cancer

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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