What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hello, nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

thumb_up thumb_down -88

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops