So - this baby seal walked into a club.

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

anti-joke teehee

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

9/11

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

What's better than group sex? Gang rape

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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