3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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i have cancer

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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