Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Libraries.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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66

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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The economy.

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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clamidia

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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