A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Itookasipasoda

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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