How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -96

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -126

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

thumb_up thumb_down +69

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

So - this baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops