What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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Libraries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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