I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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anti-joke teehee

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Itookasipasoda

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops