Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

thumb_up thumb_down

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Libraries.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -96

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -126

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

thumb_up thumb_down +69

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops