A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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