Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

Hey guess what? Nevermind.

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

Itookasipasoda

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...