Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Asian NASCAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who's fat? Holly Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -13

who farted i did :]

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops