A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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66

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96

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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Miami Heat.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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