96

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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hi

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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