What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Libraries.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Asian NASCAR.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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The NBA lockout

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The economy.

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i like pie

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops