Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

What color is a banana? yellow.

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

thumbs up!

Asian NASCAR.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

The economy.

Your mother is so fat.

What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

A baby seal walks into a club.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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