Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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66

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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The economy.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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96

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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