A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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