My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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I like turtoes.

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Itookasipasoda

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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