Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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66

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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The economy.

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96

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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i like pie

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops