So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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LOL -LOL GUY

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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I like turtoes.

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Itookasipasoda

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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