A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

equality for women

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

The NBA lockout

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

Your mother is so fat.

A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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