Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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I like turtoes.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops