What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

my names jim haha

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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