Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

Runescape.

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

Miami Heat.

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

The Holocaust

What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

hi

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...