Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

Religion

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...