Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Why doesn't the Athiest wear socks? He has a minor fungal condition on his feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops