Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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BUT HWY?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops