your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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