What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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The white guy did it!

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Your momma's so fat...

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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