You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down -24

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops