What color is a banana? yellow.

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hrih

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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clamidia

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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