Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Hi

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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