what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Libraries.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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