what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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