Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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who farted i did :]

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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