What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

who farted i did :]

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I like turtoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops