Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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who farted i did :]

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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