what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

how do you make a joke act like yourself

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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