What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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