Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Obama 2012

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops