How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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The NBA lockout

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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