God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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thumbs up!

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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clamidia

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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