Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Miami Heat.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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