Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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