- Anti Joke

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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Runescape.

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

Arrow to the Knee

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

clamidia

How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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