why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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