There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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1134

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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BUT HWY?

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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acuna

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops