How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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Good to see you today!

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops