How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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Runescape.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Jesus wept.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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