A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops