Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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