BUT HWY?

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Jesus wept.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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