There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Itookasipasoda

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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