A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

so a baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops