Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

LOL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops