What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

Jesus wept.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

What color is a banana? yellow.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

hi

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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