What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Obama 2012

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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BUT HWY?

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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