Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

1134

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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