Animal

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Gale swallows.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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