What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

A BABY seal walks into a club

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

Yee

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

acuna

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

so a baby seal walks into a club...

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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