What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Runescape.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Arrow to the Knee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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