Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

This comment is anti to jokes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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MOAR??

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