What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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123457

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Kony 2012

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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