What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

Arrow to the Knee

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

I can see you under there. Under what?

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

what is not funny? This joke.

Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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