I have a knock knock joke. You start.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

123457

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Runescape.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops