What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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