A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Arrow to the Knee

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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