A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

123457

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

thumb_up thumb_down -21

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Runescape.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

How Long is a Chinese name.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops