Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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