roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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