what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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