two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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pedophile

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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I went to the store and I fell

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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The Holocaust

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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