roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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A man buys free health care...

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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34

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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lebron

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Hi

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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