Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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