If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Chikin nuggets

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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you.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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pedophile

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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