what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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Hi

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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A fat man on a moped

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Runescape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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