what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

Why? Because racecar.

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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