When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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Women's rights.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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