How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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