What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A man walks around a bar.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops