Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

thumb_up thumb_down -125

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -163

What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

thumb_up thumb_down -179

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Gale swallows.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Obama 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops