Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks around a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I went to the store and I fell

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

acuna

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -117

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops