roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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lebron

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Women's Rights

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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