How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Women's Rights

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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lebron

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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