what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Jesus

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Women's Rights

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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