Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A man walks around a bar.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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I went to the store and I fell

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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acuna

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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