The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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