A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Women's Rights

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Why? Because racecar.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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