Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Whats 9+10? 19

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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