How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Women's Rights

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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You.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Hi

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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