what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Wumbo

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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Religion

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Chikin nuggets

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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