There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Chikin nuggets

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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