Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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69.9

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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The Holocaust

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Sarah Palin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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