Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

womens sports...

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

Know what's funny? Jokes.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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