A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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Obama 2012

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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