What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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womens sports...

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Chikin nuggets

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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