John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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womens sports...

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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