How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Religion

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Women's rights.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Yee

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops