Obama 2012

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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I went to the store and I fell

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Dick Chaney

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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someone called a frog a frog

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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