A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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