Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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America Votes

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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what the hell happened to your face

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops