What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

Oh look, I've found my knife

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...