Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops