what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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