A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Jesus

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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penis

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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