Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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