What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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69.9

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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