What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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I went to the store and I fell

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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