26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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