A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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