How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops