What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

thumb_up thumb_down

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops