How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Chikin nuggets

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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Dick Chaney

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops