how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

Dick Chaney

What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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