Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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equality for women

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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