What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

thumb_up thumb_down +10

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

thumb_up thumb_down +115

A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops