Religion

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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