Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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