Dick Chaney

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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