What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Whats 9+10? 19

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Dick Chaney

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Jesus

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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