Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -7

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops