Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Good to see you today!

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops