Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Jesus

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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