Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dick Chaney

thumb_up thumb_down +4

FIRE!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops