Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops