yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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whats annoying and black? black people

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Wumbo

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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