What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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69.9

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Gale swallows.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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