what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

WOMENS RIGHTS

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I went to the store and I fell

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops