What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Dick Chaney

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Why? Because racecar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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