How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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live or die you decide to late time to die

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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