Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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Chikin nuggets

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Whats 9+10? 19

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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