A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Yee

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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