Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

Oh look, I've found my knife

Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

Your mom is so...wonderful.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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