What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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88

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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i was molested.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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