Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops