What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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my bubbles!

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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