Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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whats annoying and black? black people

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Obama.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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