What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Women's rights.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Swag.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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I went to the store and I fell

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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