What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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