Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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Obama.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why did the boy go swimming in the ocean? He didn't. the current pulled him in and he drowned.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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