Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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here kitty kitty

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Women's rights.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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