Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

I went to the store and I fell

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

my bubbles!

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

make me a sandwich!

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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