A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops