Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Religion

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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