Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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