A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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You.

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I went to the store and I fell

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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i was molested.

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What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Religion

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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