What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Women's rights.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops