A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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whats annoying and black? black people

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Women's rights.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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