The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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