How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Religion

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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