I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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my bubbles!

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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