A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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my bubbles!

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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