A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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make me a sandwich!

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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