Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops