How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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