why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Religion

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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