Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Religion

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops