What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Religion

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops