Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops