What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Wumbo

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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You.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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