Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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69.9

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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