How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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69.9

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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