Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Sarah Palin

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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