you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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Why? Because racecar.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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