What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

thumb_up thumb_down +46

America Votes

thumb_up thumb_down +44

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what the hell happened to your face

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who did the strait guy marry? a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

thumb_up thumb_down

When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops