What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Jesus

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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America Votes

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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womens sports...

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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