What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops