Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Women's rights.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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