What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops