what the hell happened to your face

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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