What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

A man walks around a bar.

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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