Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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FIRE!!

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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Women's Rights

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Yee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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