What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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nick toth

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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