What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

Religion

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

Knock knock

Why? Because racecar.

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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