Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +73

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops