womens sports...

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Dick Chaney

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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