what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops