Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Good to see you today!

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Obama 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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