Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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