If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Sarah Palin

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Dick Chaney

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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