A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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Dick Chaney

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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