Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

A seal walks into a club...

Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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