Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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nick toth

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Jesus

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Religion

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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