Knock knock

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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What rhymes with you? You.

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56

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Dick Chaney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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