What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

Oh look, I've found my knife

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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