Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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what the hell happened to your face

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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