An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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69.9

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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