A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

A man walked into a bar and said ow.

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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