-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

thumb_up thumb_down +35

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

acuna

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

56

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

1134

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops