A BABY seal walks into a club

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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here kitty kitty

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Obama.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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