What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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