Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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a Jew had a small nose

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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Swag.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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