2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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