The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith, I'm the town rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -114

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -166

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops