Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Dick Chaney

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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FIRE!!

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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acuna

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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56

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Religion

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Jesus

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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