Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

how do you make a joke act like yourself

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

Want to hear a joke? Me to...

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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