why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

69.9

What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

56

The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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