What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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