What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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