Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Good to see you today!

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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America Votes

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops