Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

So a baby seal walks into a club.

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

34

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

Knock knock

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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