what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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