I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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34

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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acuna

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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