2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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Religion

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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