Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Dick Chaney

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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nick toth

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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