How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -157

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +10

nick toth

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops