What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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i was molested.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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what the hell happened to your face

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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