What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

Gale swallows.

What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

Dick Chaney

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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