How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Gale swallows.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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