Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What rhymes with you? You.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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