What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Gale swallows.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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