what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

what is not funny? This joke.

This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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