How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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