Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Chikin nuggets

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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FIRE!!

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Jesus

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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