Kony 2012

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops