How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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women's rights

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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FIRE!!

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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