a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

thumb_up thumb_down +81

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Oh look, I've found my knife

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Your mommas so fat that she may die.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -113

(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops