What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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nick toth

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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