America Votes

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Religion

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Women's Rights

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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