A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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someone called a frog a frog

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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