Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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FIRE!!

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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