A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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What rhymes with you? You.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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