A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Women's Rights

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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