My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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America Votes

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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