A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

26.5% of Americans are obese.

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

A man walked into a bar and said ow.

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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