What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Religion

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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FIRE!!

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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