What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops