Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops