How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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