How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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what's funnier than a dead baby in a clown costume? philanthropy

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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here kitty kitty

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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make me a sandwich!

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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