Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What jew get for christmas? Your money.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What rhymes with you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -114

(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +165

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

88

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops