What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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penis

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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