I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

poop.

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

you know what they say... hydrate or die

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

Your mommas so fat that she may die.

what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

Knock, Knock The door's open

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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