Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops