You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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(insert antijoke here

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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