Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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nick toth

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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