What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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GONNA

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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i was molested.

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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