A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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nick toth

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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I've got a boner

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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someone called a frog a frog

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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