Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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a Jew had a small nose

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why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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(insert antijoke here

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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