Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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GONNA

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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