here kitty kitty

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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make me a sandwich!

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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Swag.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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