I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

So a baby seal walks into a club.

I've got a boner

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

(insert antijoke here

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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