how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

nick toth

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

i was molested.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

thumb_up thumb_down +103

A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

17

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops