What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -125

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops