Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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