Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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56

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Women's Rights

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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