How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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America Votes

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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