Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

A quadrapeldgic walks no where

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

Religion

A man walked into a bar and said ow.

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

America Votes

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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