When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -166

whats annoying and black? black people

thumb_up thumb_down +121

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

thumb_up thumb_down +85

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops