Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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America Votes

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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