did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Woman out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

thumb_up thumb_down -73

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -125

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -167

34

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops