A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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