All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Knock, Knock The door's open

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

nick toth

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the girl drown? Well, the girl probably did drown because she was within the ages of 3-5 years old, and she probably had a physical incapapbilty and she could not swim so her parents didn't save her.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -83

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops