lol this is the best joke ever!

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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