What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +96

34

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

WOMENS RIGHTS

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A Woman out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops