How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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nick toth

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What rhymes with you? You.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops