What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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