I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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nick toth

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FIRE!!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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