Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Boom.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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