Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

thumb_up thumb_down -113

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down +98

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -6

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops