why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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A seal walks into a club...

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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