My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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Boom.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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penis

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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