What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -59

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops