A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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