There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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America Votes

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what the hell happened to your face

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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