Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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America Votes

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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what the hell happened to your face

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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A seal walks into a club...

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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penis

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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