what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

Your mom is so...wonderful.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

a Jew had a small nose

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

how do you make a joke act like yourself

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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