Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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