Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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