whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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someone called a frog a frog

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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