Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because he did

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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17

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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