Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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A quadrapeldgic walks no where

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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