Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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penis

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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