Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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