A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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a Jew had a small nose

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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