What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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