how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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FIRE!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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