What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -77

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops