What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -167

what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

A man walked into a bar and said ow.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +44

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

thumb_up thumb_down -174

someone called a frog a frog

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops