An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? one if it can reach 2 if it's high.One to screw in the bulb the other to hold the ladder.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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