- Anti Joke

Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

Dislike this!!!!!!

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

America Votes

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

Boom.

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

26.5% of Americans are obese.

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

someone called a frog a frog

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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