17

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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88

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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