So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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i was molested.

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penis

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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