What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

26.5% of Americans are obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I've got a boner

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

thumb_up thumb_down -152

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops