How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Women's Rights

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops