what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops