Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a joke act like yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

34

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

WOMENS RIGHTS

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops