What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A quadrapeldgic walks no where

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +161

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +61

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

America Votes

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops