whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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