you know what they say... hydrate or die

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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nick toth

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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