What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Caitlyn.

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GONNA

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops