My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Boom.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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someone called a frog a frog

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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