A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

(insert antijoke here

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

Boom.

why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...