A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -91

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

thumb_up thumb_down -97

How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops