Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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what the hell happened to your face

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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