How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Haha, sucker, this is actually a glue factory" The horse is brutally slaughtered and his remains are sold for a profit as part of a glue product

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poop.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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