Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops