how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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