Obama.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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your mommy so gehto shes black

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Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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Why can't black people swim? Because most African American individuals grow up in inner urban cities where they have little or no access to swimming facilities.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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