sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Whats Obama's last name?

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Women's Rights

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops