Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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nick toth

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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