What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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