What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -54

whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops