My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

thumb_up thumb_down -69

A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

thumb_up thumb_down -73

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +54

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

thumb_up thumb_down

A seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops