Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Q: What did the priest say to the rabbi? A: Our God is a wonderful, loving god; praise his name.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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A seal walks into a club...

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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