Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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