How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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make me a sandwich!

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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poop.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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