Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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Boom.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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