Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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a Jew had a small nose

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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