what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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