i said wut wut in the butt!

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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