"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Caitlyn.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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