What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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whats the hardest part of roller skating. Telling your dad that you are gay.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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poop.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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(insert antijoke here

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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