Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -117

what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

elliot forsythe is a paedo

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a grown man driving a plane you dont it isnt possible to drive a plane

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops