Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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poop.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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