Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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Womens rights

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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GONNA

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How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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