Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Women's Rights

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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women's rights

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

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A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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