So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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I've got a boner

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops