What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Dylan Eichas

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

thumb_up thumb_down +16

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -84

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

thumb_up thumb_down -104

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

What has four wheels and can fly? A flying car What else has four wheels and can fly? Another flying car

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops