Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

88

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why do black people like to play basketball steal shoot and run

thumb_up thumb_down +30

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why MohammadReza Is a Bitch? A: Because he isnt a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -52

make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -84

What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

17

thumb_up thumb_down +39

hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops