A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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What happened to the blind man who went skydiving? Nothing but the dog was unlucky.The dog kept squirming and he thought he hadnt gone down the cliff yet and said "ok fine dont come with me!".The dog didnt survive. :'(

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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