Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

thumb_up thumb_down -112

if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +13

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops