a Jew had a small nose

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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Dylan Eichas

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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i was molested.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman, Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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