A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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make me a sandwich!

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someone called a frog a frog

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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