Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

thumb_up thumb_down +47

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

26.5% of Americans are obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

thumb_up thumb_down -61

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

17

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops