How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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someone called a frog a frog

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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make me a sandwich!

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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Whats Obama's last name?

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A man buys free health care...

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops