what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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a Jew had a small nose

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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(insert antijoke here

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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