What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -18

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

thumb_up thumb_down -104

What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

thumb_up thumb_down +83

A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What do you call a retarded man? Mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops