What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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a Jew had a small nose

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a mail box 1 baby in 10 mail boxes

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops