Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If you lose your left arm, your right one will be left.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

88

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops